What makes a memoir?

PHOTO BY: idealism

The genre is memoir. The good news is that there are many resources on how not to stink at writing one.

The bad news is that I need to find a way not to be preachy and not to be boring. I think I can find that way but it's a skill that needs honed. Yeah, people I know all skills need to be honed. Have you seen my portrait painting? No, no you haven't because while I can paint a little like there's a bit a raw talent that was genetically gifted me, I've never taken the time to hone the skill.

My sister's art rocks.

I can practice writing.

But upon a little more introspection, I've missed a glaring but very important piece of the last five years. What's funny is that if you just even look at the titles of many of these entries they are often about my friends. Well, when I had that "you've got to change you're life" epiphany many years ago another thing aside from losing weight and going back to school 'was cultivate new friendships'.

When the divorce/separation/split happened I lost many friends. I suppose by definition they weren't much in way of friends. However I was very isolated. I had one or two who've been with for decades but ouch. I was very alone.

So I sought me out some friends in a very managed, structure, strategic way. And don't all go getting your feelings hurt. It wasn't like my feelings were insincere. I wasn't just collecting people to call my friends, but when I made a connection, I really tried to nurture it. And I plotted to find people with interests that would expand mine. I found me some cycling friends, some wine drinking friends, some pulse on current culture friends, some weight loss surgery friends, some mommy friends and low and behold some you had the same career/education path as me friends.

They are the tri in the trifecta of what has made my happiness happen. Or I made happy and the friends swooped in. I don't know which came first but regardless they are monumental.

So the question, all SATC (sex and the city) style, do we get what we want then become attractive or to we make ourselves attractive then people find us? And I don't mean I'm cute now so I have friends, but what comes first opening ones self up to new the possibility of cultivating relationships or finding the relationship and cultivating it?

Regardless, my buddies have all been instrumental in giving me the support and encouragement and a side helping of pragmatism that has done more to foster my success than anything I could have created on my own. And that was I believe the missing piece to how I write this thing that I so badly want to write.

So thanks.