Plastic surgery is only a few weeks away. Well so is graduation.
Job hunting in earnest isn’t that far off either.
Yikes
I’ve been tasked with the challenge to create a resume. I need to do it. I’ve been working on it. I need to work more on it. I’ve got to brainstorm some ideas too. I think I might ask some of my nearest and dearests to help me flesh out ideas, flesh out ways to put into words the fabulosity which is me.
I’m a group think is better than not a group think kind of girl. And my fabulousness is hard to quantify in a way that will make me stand out for said new career.
Isn’t that funny? New career? I don’t even know where I want to point myself for this new career. It’s hard to craft a resume to a generic audience, but necessary. It’s even harder to hone my awesomeness in a pointed way to the job which I don’t know exists which I should be able to say, I’m the best candidate ever because, xyz. There’s some frustration with that.
Frustrations keep me from digging in deeply and getting to core of things as quickly as I’d like. I suppose they wouldn’t be frustrations otherwise huh?
I wish I knew some HR types, well I suppose I do. And I know there are templates out there for this kind of thing, but I’m a build ideas up from the ground kind of girl. I do see the value in redesigning the wheel. Well sometimes.
And this is one of those times.
I started this talking about surgery.
It’s the plastic kind. I want to make a comment about recycling plastic, but can’t, I’m not having fun thinking about the surgery.
For those of you who don’t know, I’m 175 pounds lighter than I once was. I have this curious looking stomach that needs to be removed. The surgery is going to be long and scary. The recovery is going to be long and painful. I’m not so vain as to want to do long, scary and painful just to look better. This is a means to moving more freely and happily. This literal shedding is important.
Ew, ew, ew. I think I’m having an epiphany or recognizing stuck. I want to pretend I’m not doing this for vanity reasons, but that’s a big piece of it too. I think I need to sit with that and make that okay.
Damn, now I have to work on that.
About graduation or completing the degree; I’m done at the end of March, I walk in May.
That’s scaring me too. I seem to be scared all over the place. Maybe I need a sanctuary. But having the free time not doing school work is worrisome for me. You know they say idle hands to the Devil’s work. Oh the carnage I could commit. I’m pretty effective at getting stuff done.
I know, make my own plans, not the Devil’s or anyone else’s and fill the time doing things that propel me forward. It’s just it is change. And change is hard. And I’m changing all over the place.
And I want to curl up in a ball, suck my thumb and stay in bed until mid June. That will be okay, right?
No? Okay.
Time to enlist the friends; they make me feel better.
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Courage, brave heart. Courage as in feeling the fear, knowing it's okay to be afraid, but doing what needs to be done anyway. I think you're doing great!
ReplyDeleteYou are doing great. You're going through some pretty massive changes, so I think you're completely right to feel scared and overwhelmed. Nothing's wrong with you. You're pretty awesome.
ReplyDeleteAnd, for what it's worth, I think a little vanity is healthy. From someone who's sixty pounds lighter than she used to be, I know the whole self-loathing, self-punishing thing all too well. And you know what? I shedded that along with the weight.
It's perfectly okay for me to be proud of how I look in a tank top now, of being happy (or almost) to try on new things in a dressing room. Because I've spent way too many years giving myself grief in front of a mirror. And practicing a little vanity? Well hell, as far as I'm concerned that's just practicing a little self-love.
Good for you, sweetie. And good luck with the walk, and the surgery, and all the other wonderfulness.
I'm honestly certain you can do all of this. I think with your courageous attitude, you could get the job of your dreams. Work out what you want, get yourself into the mentality and go for it.
ReplyDeleteAnd the surgery? Scary, hard, but worth it. We're here to hold your hand as and when you need for all of this!