EPIC? Me? Go on. Really?

Photo: Darren Hester

I read this post by Charlie at productive flourishing. He's a genius. http://www.productiveflourishing.com/do-epic-shit/

The concept is amazing. Well not really, the concept is pretty much, do big things and get big results. Don't do something small and work like hell to make it look big. Start with EPIC as the mind set.

I thought what's so epic about little ol' me? Well frankly everything and nothing at all. I mean day to day, I'm a regular woman. I go to work, feed the children, love my people, work with my body, grow my brain. I think most people do a smattering of that. I'm not so special.

There's been a whole lot of change in the last couple of years.

But the everything part is that oh, about 6 years ago I thought the only way out of my then situation was for someone to die. Either me or my partner at the time. I was 34 and thought I was waiting for the end of a life so that what I really wanted to do could start. Isn't that so sad? I'd stick a frowny face in here if it weren't so cheesy.

Mind you I didn't want to kill her, nor did I want to die, but really, the thought, "Is this what I get?" saturated with disappointment about who I was and how I felt made me take stock, and say I can change this.

So I broke up with her. Big move, I realize.

We had a one year old.

That was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Breaking up with my partner meant that I would only have my child with half the time. What's EPIC about that? We are co parenting in a very collaborative, healthy way. The girl child's best interest is our ultimate decision question. Answer that and we are good to go. A lot of ego and hurt feelings has gotten set aside so we can do what is best for her. Girl child is the light of our lives. She fills our hearts and we are all happy. Also, ex's mother is among my dearest friends, to this day.

Then I decided to go back to school.

Because now I was single and had a mortgage and only one income and a child to raise. The three jobs I was working still wasn't enough money at the end of week. I was making decisions about what bills not to pay.

School was a way out economically, but it was a long view solution. It also was an answer to "How you can you stop hating yourself for never having gone to college even though you have very, very good explanations for not attending?" Going back to school to get an undergrad then a graduate degree at age 40 is EPIC.

Then I lost weight and in the process found a connection to my body.

Around 2006 I found out about lapbanding as a weight loss solution. After some soul searching I got on board and had that done in 2007. I've never looked back. I did my best to exercise and eat well. I looked at the opportunity as once in a lifetime chance to get regular so I worked it from every angle. I'm regular now and it's great. Losing 174 pounds is EPIC.

The collection of learning and people I've made along the way has been amazing. The shift in how I view the world, my potential and even my little brown house has gone from primarily negative to absolutely positive. And that is EPIC.

So what's that got to do with Charlie's post? How to take the humble story of me with all that gold and get it out there. I'm working on it. I suppose it's that book thing idea I have, that I don't want to talk about too much for fear of putting a whammy on it. Whammies and Hairy Eye Balls* dictate a lot of how I operate.

*Also known as the Evil Eye.

Photo:http://www.flickr.com/photos/ppdigital/